he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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