The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My life is pants optional.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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