In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
