you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i've created a new STD.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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