the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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