how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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