escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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