He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
This toilet bowl is my home.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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