dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Randomize
