the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
This gyro tastes like lonliness
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
