I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
