she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The air was thick with penises
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
