...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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