I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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