Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
