Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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