he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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