i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
