oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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