I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
