What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
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the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
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i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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