And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Two words: nipple clamps
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