is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
