Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
