whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
