Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
