Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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