dude i'm inner monologue high
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
