i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
