I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
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