if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
