You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
