it was like his penis was on wheels.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
