It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Let's get the cat blown out
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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