im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
