You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
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That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
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The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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