If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
