dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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