i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize