i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
