It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
