I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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