we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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