coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
