This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning