2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?