Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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