I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
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Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
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Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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