lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Randomize
