Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
