fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize
