i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
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