I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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