Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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