Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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