oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
