So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize