Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
