One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We got so high we made milksteak
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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