i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
